Women in Taekwondo (W.I.T) is an non-for-profit initiative started by female practitioners and competitors in the world of Taekwondo to teach Taekwondo and self-defense to underprivileged children.
Sports assist child development. Children feel more confident, learn life skills, team building, and discipline.
"The evidence supporting sports participation for young people is overwhelming...It has the power to combat everything from racism to low self-image, to the high-school drop-out rate." (Sue Castle, Executive Producer of PBS Sports: Get in the Game)
"Female high school athletes are: 1. 92% less likely to get involved with drugs. 2. 80% less likely to get pregnant. 3. 3 times more likely to graduate than non-athletes."(Women's Sports Foundation)
However, sports can be costly. "Parents spend $671 a year on sports-related costs for a child, a recent consumer survey found. But 21 percent of U.S. parents spend more than $1,000 per child."
Taekwondo costs vary depending on the school, but on average the cost is $1,200 per child for training a year. This does not include supplies such as shoes, uniform, testing and competitions.
Every two months children are tested and the testing fees are about $50 dollars each.
With all the expenses it costs about $2000 dollars a year for children to train in Taekwondo. On average it takes about 2.5 years to train and test for your Black Belt. The Black Belt test on average can cost up to $700.
W.I.T promotes the positive influences that Taekwondo provides for children and adults. W.I.T provides underprivileged children free classes in Taekwondo. We know that providing the Taekwondo philosophy of courtesy, integrity, respect, perseverance, self-control, and determination will benefit children positively and greatly.
You have found some great quotes and statistics to reason with the reader on this and I think you are on the right track, but there are a few things that might need fixing.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason the sentence “Sports assist child development” confused me for a minute. I suppose because I thought the first word was a noun to begin with, but you meant it as a verb. I think that maybe saying “Participating in sports, assists child development” might clarify that sentence.
"Parents spend $671 a year on sports-related costs for a child, a recent consumer survey found. But 21 percent of U.S. parents spend more than $1,000 per child." Where did you get this information? I would like to know and I think it would help support your claim if you specify where you found these figures.
“Taekwondo costs vary depending on the school, but on average the cost is $1,200 per child for training a year.” You could change the end of the sentence to read “$1,200 per child for a year of training.” The strength of the message seems to die when the last words read are “…a year.”
In one paragraph you state “Taekwondo costs vary depending on the school, but on average the cost is $1,200 per child for training a year.” But then 2 paragraphs later you state “With all the expenses it costs about $2000 dollars a year for children to train in Taekwondo.” That confused me. You may want to clarify why the amounts differ or make sure you are consistent.
“We know that providing the Taekwondo philosophy of courtesy, integrity, respect, perseverance, self-control, and determination will benefit children positively and greatly.” You may want to change that to “We believe…” that way the reader isn’t searching for the proof of how you know when they finish reading the piece.
I think you have a lot of statistics that really work for promoting this idea, but the wording and structure needs a little work. I am looking forward to hearing you speak about it in this week’s assignment since you are clearly passionate about the subject and this charitable program is a great idea.