I am one of a few women in my Taekwondo class of men.
Training in Taekwondo revolves around learning how to deliver punches and kicks. Additionally, we train in self-defense techniques and sparring. While advance practitioners gear up and do full contact sparring at my school, there is weekly no-contact sparring for everyone.
I have found most women in the class do not prefer sparring, but men love the chance to go toe to toe against their comrades.
Master Lee does not discriminate. He doesn't pair same belts with same belts. White belts (beginners) can be paired with higher belts, and that includes black belts. He also doesn't pair women with women and men with men. Women will be paired with men, and though this can be intimidating, I find it to be the best way to learn. In a real life situation where a women will need to defend herself, the perpetrator will most likely be a man.
Most of the men in my class are very respectful and kind. They will do their best to show me new techniques to defend myself. However, there is one man in the class who is aggressive and not as kind as the others. He is equally this way with the men and women in the class. Charming.
When I first started out, I was paired with him for non-contact sparring. He's a black belt and obviously has more experience than I had as a white belt. Most black belts in the class will use situations like these to teach the lower belts techniques. Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky with my partner.
I never sparred before in my life and was clueless as to what I needed to do.
When the whistle blew he just stood there waiting, as a beginner I wasn't sure what he was doing, so I went after him. Big mistake, because he began punching my arm repeatedly, kicking me, and circling me like a shark.
I felt helpless on how to defend myself, let alone strike back. His hits were calculating and hard. Remember, this was supposed to be non-contact sparring, but he got away with knocking me around as no one was looking. I never gave up and I gave it my all, even though my all amounted to nothing compared to his skills.
I left that night exhausted and beaten up, and that was just my mind. My body was sore and bruised. I will admit, I almost cried a little when I got in the car, but I swallowed the lump in my throat.
It got to me. I felt defeated and embarrassed, so I told myself I couldn't go back to the dojo after that incident. I was afraid to ever be paired up with him again.
This wasn't the first time I was hit by the opposite sex and it probably wouldn't be my last.
When I was in grade school I would be the justice fighter in the playground. If I saw someone mistreated I would go against the bully, usually a male, and he would be kicked in the groin, by yours truly.
One particular day, this older bully kicked me back and then punched me in the stomach. I had never been punched in the stomach before. All at once, my air escaped me, my stomach felt completely empty, and I had this unbelievable pain at the pit of my stomach. I almost threw up.
I automatically hunched over in pain, but that didn't stop me. I lunged at him and grabbed his hair. Ah, third grade, what great memories.
Before the fight fully escalated, my teacher pulled me off of him and sent me against the wall to think about my actions.
Fast forward to the night after sparring and deciding never to go back to the dojo. I remembered what I told myself when I was against the wall at recess. I am sure the teacher wanted me to reflect back at the situation and apologize. But, I had something else on mind. First, I decide that no man will ever hit me and make me feel less than I was. Second, that I can be just as strong and aggressive as the opposite sex. And lastly, I reminded myself that I will always get back up, even with the hardest of kicks and punches. Nothing could get me down.
I went to class the next day inspired and motivated to get quicker and stronger. Nine months later, I am actually enjoying sparring. I still don't have the all the advanced techniques as some of my higher belt classmates, but when I learn something new I introduce it to my list of techniques while I spar. For example, before I could only slide back quickly and throw some punches and a few basic kicks. Now, I am lighter on my toes, I dodge, block, slide back, punch, and use multiple kicks at a time.
As for the charming sparring partner, he's still at my school. And yes, we have been partners again. I have two choices, either allow him to defeat me, or allow him to teach me. We can learn something from every one. I have learned to be quicker and I have learned the art of strategy and I have to give him a bit, wee-bit, of credit for that.
Another great story that really took me inside the room when the both of you were sparring. It would have been even cooler to hear of some details in the first fight with your arch nemisis but overall the story flowed well. There were a few minor spelling errors in the piece but there was plenty of white space and like I said I enjoyed reading it and picturing myself in the arena with everyone.
ReplyDeleteThis is great material. The flashback to grade school and the twist in your reaction to the recess bully is wonderful. Your story develops and surprises. Which is why it needs even more attention.
ReplyDeleteGetting Hit By A Man by Nikita. I don’t think you need the ellipsis. Great title.
Training in Taekwondo revolves around learning how to deliver punches and kicks.
Revolves around?
Taekwondo teaches the individual how to deliver punches and kicks.
The student of Taekwondo learns how to punch and kick.
I have found most women in the class do not prefer sparring, but men love the chance to go toe to toe against their comrades.
Most women in class do not like sparring. The men love the chance to go toe to toe.
White belts (beginners) can be paired with higher belts, and that includes black belts. He also doesn't pair women with women and men with men. Women will be paired with men, and though this can be intimidating, I find it to be the best way to learn. In a real life situation where a women will need to defend herself, the perpetrator will most likely be a man.
“Beginning white belts are paired with higher belts, even black belts. Women are paired with men. Though this can be intimidating, it is the best way to learn. In the real world, a woman will most likely need to defend herself from a man.”
Most of the men in my class are very respectful and kind. They will do their best to show me new techniques to defend myself. However, there is one man in the class who is aggressive and not as kind as the others. He is equally this way with the men and women in the class. Charming.
Look at how many times you said “in the class.” You don’t need that phrase in one instance in the entire piece. You established it with the word training in your first sentence.
Most of the men are very respectful and kind. They will do their best to show me new techniques. One man is aggressive with both the men and the women. Charming.
He's a black belt and obviously has more experience than I had as a white belt.
(If it’s obvious than you don’t need to say it.)
“He’s a black belt.”
Most black belts in the class will use situations like these to teach the lower belts techniques.
You already said that.
“Most of the men are very respectful and kind. They will do their best to show me new techniques. One man is not so kind. He is aggressive with both the men and women. He’s a black belt and he was my first sparring partner.”
Build the tension Nikita, but don’t repeat yourself. You didn’t know what to do. Say that once.
I left that night exhausted and beaten up, and that was just my mind. My body was sore and bruised. I will admit, I almost cried a little when I got in the car, but I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I left the dojo mentally exhausted and physically bruised. When I got in the car, I closed my eyes to keep the tears from falling. I swallowed, turned the ignition, and drove home.”
I understand what you were trying to do with that was just my mind, but it doesn’t work. You need to go back, see what works, and fix what doesn’t and improve upon what does.
This wasn't the first time I was hit by the opposite sex and it probably wouldn't be my last.
Don’t confuse me. A flashback has to be handled carefully. The reader has to clearly understand we’ve gone back.
“This wasn't the first time I was hit by the opposite sex.”
When I was in grade school I would be the justice fighter in the playground.
The justice fighter? What is that? If you are going to make yourself a superhero, don’t hesitate.
“When I was in grade school, I was Lady Justice on the playground, taking bullies out with a swift kick to the groin.
One day, an older bully kicked me back. Then he punched me in the gut.”
Fast forward to the night after sparring and deciding never to go back to the dojo. I remembered what I told myself when I was against the wall at recess. I am sure the teacher wanted me to reflect back at the situation and apologize. But, I had something else on mind. First, I decide that no man will ever hit me and make me feel less than I was. Second, that I can be just as strong and aggressive as the opposite sex. And lastly, I reminded myself that I will always get back up, even with the hardest of kicks and punches. Nothing could get me down.
ReplyDeleteI went to class the next day inspired and motivated to get quicker and stronger. Nine months later, I am actually enjoying sparring. I still don't have the all the advanced techniques as some of my higher belt classmates, but when I learn something new I introduce it to my list of techniques while I spar. For example, before I could only slide back quickly and throw some punches and a few basic kicks. Now, I am lighter on my toes, I dodge, block, slide back, punch, and use multiple kicks at a time.
“The teacher wanted me to reflect back on the situation and reach an apology. I reached another conclusion. I decided that no man would ever hit me again and make me feel like less than I was.
I went to class the next day inspired and motivated to get quicker and stronger.
Now I enjoy sparring. I don't know every advanced technique, but I learn a new one every time I spar. For example, before I could only slide back quickly and throw some punches and a few basic kicks. Now, I am lighter on my toes.
I dodge, block, slide back, punch, and use multiple kicks at a time.”
Now let’s combine everything.
_______________________________
“I left the dojo mentally exhausted and physically bruised. When I got in the car, I closed my eyes to keep the tears from falling.
“This wasn't the first time I was hit by the opposite sex. When I was in grade school, I was Lady Justice on the playground, taking bullies out with swift kicks to the groin.
“Then one day, an older bully kicked me back. Then he punched me in the gut.
“I had never been punched in the stomach before. All at once, the air escaped me, my stomach was empty, and I there was this unbelievable pain. I almost threw up.
“But he didn't stop me. I lunged at him and grabbed his hair. A teacher pulled me off and sent me to the wall to think about my actions.
She wanted me to reflect back on the situation and reach an apology. I reached another conclusion. I decided that no man would ever hit me again and make me feel like less than I was.
I remembered all of this, sitting in the car. I swallowed, turned the ignition, and drove home.
I went to class the next day inspired and motivated to get quicker and stronger.
Now I enjoy sparring…”
Great work.